I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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