your room smells of hookers.
And success
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
