He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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