I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
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