Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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