Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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