i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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