y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
