Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
