oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
