guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
