Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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