i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
