That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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