i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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