y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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