apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
