every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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