cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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