Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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