it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
