We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
foreskin is a definite game changer
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
