You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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