i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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