all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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