Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
even my farts smell like vagina
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
