I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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