i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
