I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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