i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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