If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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