I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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