covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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