belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
