shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
