DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
