My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
