my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
