I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
When are your genitals available?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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