so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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