my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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