I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
