just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
