wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
