**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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