i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize
