I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
