I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize