just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dick very happy bro
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
