Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
