My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He has the fingertips of a God
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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