Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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