Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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