I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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