You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
