apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
