Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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