I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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