I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
