apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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