U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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