I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
