My room smells like vodka and shame
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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