Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
