i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You can't just leave with hair like that
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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