i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize