i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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